Angry and

My therapist says that there is always another emotion present when you feel anger.  You are never just angry; you are angry AND.  Angry and disappointed. Angry and frustrated.  Angry and sad.

"Are you angry with me?"  My host son asks this question.  Not frequently, but enough.  Probably because I am extremely excitable and overly emotional.

"No," I answer. I don't know if I was lying.  I lie so much (see previous posts) that I don't even stop to think about whether or not I am telling the truth.  My brain is just trained to come up with the best answer.

"Have you ever been angry with me?"  That's the thing about this kid; he's too smart.  It's always easier to deal with people (and children) who are not as smart.  But he is smart.

He wanted an honest answer, so I stopped to think.  There are a lot of emotions that swirl around when I think about the past eight weeks, but anger was not one of them.  Fear, anxiety, disappointment, but not anger.

I have been angry with The Brit.  Angry and disappointed, angry and sad, angry and hurt.  I do not know why on God's green earth people would ever, ever, EVER have a baby to save a marriage. Children are hard on a marriage.  The Brit and I always argue more when Lily is with us.

Once Finn got here and was here all the time, every day, not just on the weekends and holidays, the Brit and I fought A LOT.  But this constant state of parenting, as opposed to the weekend parent I have become, helped me realize it was because we were raised differently and have much different relationships with our parents.  Of course that will cause problems when making decisions for and regarding children.  Also, he forgot momentarily that I am always right.

But we worked it out, and are better people having learned from it.

I asked Finn today how long he had been here. "Two months and two weeks.  It is halftime." I was off by a couple weeks.

I can't believe it's half over. We have a lot more memories to make.  The Hutchinson-Host Kid clan is just getting started.

(My sister says I need my edit my blog, no thank you.  The host kid said the last blog post was full of lies, duh.  #fulldisclosure)