Steps 8 & 9 of the 12 step program ask participants to identify and then make amends to those you have wronged (I am not currently in this program, but I did Google it.)
So, here is a list of people who I have wronged, in honor of mother's day, which I never would have realized I had wronged had a not become a host mom:
My mother: I am so sorry I complained about dinner. I didn't realize how ridiculous it was that we had to be fed every night. I mean really, there are countries where children do not eat dinner EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. It is almost too much to ask of a person. I am sorry I complained about what you fixed and didn't understand why you hated the sight of a kitchen. I understand now, and I am sorry.
My sister, Amber: I am sorry I thought your children were perfect. I realize now that having one around all the times makes them instantly less adorable and their idiosyncrasies less tolerable. I am sorry.
My sister, Sarah: I am sorry I judged you every time you were late. To every thing. Every where. I would judge you as you walked into church, birthday parties, funerals, dragging your children and husband behind you. I understand now. And I am late. To everything. Having a husband and children is really something that is too much to ask of a person. One or the other.
The parents of the students I taught: I am sorry when I judged you when your kids' homework wasn't finished. I realize now there ARE more important things to life than English assignments.
The parents of the kids I coached: Sorry I judged you and called you names behind your backs when you kids were late, missed practice or forgot pieces of their uniform. You really can't control everything. I know. I tried.
My host son's mother: I am sorry you had to be without him for so long. We will all miss him when he is gone. I cannot imagine what is must be like for you, watching him grow these last several months through pictures (sorry, I am behind on those, too! see apology "My Sister, Sarah") and over Skype. You are truly a hero, and have been such a support for me.
Whew! That feels so good. Oh, I should probably do a few more:
To my bestie: I am sorry I have been out of touch. Even though we text everyday, I know it is not the same. This summer, we reconnect.
To Jack: I am sorry you, too, know the trials of being a bonus mom. They will never appreciate us until we are old and probably dead. But maybe one day they will steps 8 & 9 us.
To Finn: I am sorry you are more responsible than I am. I am sorry I almost make you late everyday. And I am sorry you have to each popcorn chicken and french fries so much.
For mother's day this year (or maybe you save this one for next year. I don't really know what the expiration date is on mother's day gifts. I know with wedding thank-yous, you have a year. Should probably consult Martha Stewart on this one) tell her and the other mother's in your life you are sorry for being a judgmental little brat.
